Explanations
by spindicate
Summary: You can't fight destruction with more destruction. Well, you can, but it just ends in destruction anyway, so why bother? Yuna & Gippal discuss Vegnagun.


Gippal wasn't good at public speaking, but celebrations were one thing he was good at—and luckily for him, he was right in the middle of one. All of his old friends, as well as everyone who participated in destroying Vegnagun, were having a small get-together in Bevelle. But, one person who should have been there was missing.

Baralai and Nooj had both asked about Yuna, but all Rikku and Paine would say was that the third member of their trio needed some time alone. Gippal knew something was up, because asking Rikku to leave you alone when you were down in the dumps was like asking her not to breathe. For Rikku to back off and leave Yuna to herself, things must be pretty bad.

Gippal wanted to know just how bad they were.

"Hey," he called, waving. "I'm gonna go take care of something real quick, I'll see you guys later." After saying his goodbyes, Gippal headed in the direction of the Celsius, presumably where Yuna was. His guess wasn't wrong; he found her sitting on the deck, looking up to the sky as if it was going to answer all the problems on her mind.

Brother wouldn't be happy about Gippal sneaking in the Celsius, but he wasn't one to recognize personal space. The layout of the airship wasn't too hard to figure out for someone who spent the majority of their time tinkering with machina and knew them like the back of their hand. It didn't take Gippal long to find his way to the deck, and a surprised Yuna saw her newly found companion taking a seat right next to her.

"Gippal? What are you doing here?"

"Just saying hi," he answered casually, laying down on his back and extending his arms. "What are _you_ doing out here?"

"I...needed some time alone," Yuna spoke quietly, looking away from him.

"What's wrong?" Gippal asked, cocking an eyebrow. "Don't think I've ever seen you look this down before."

"I don't have to smile all the time anymore."

"Whoa," he exclaimed. "Never said you did. But concerned friends don't have to leave you alone all the time either."

Yuna was clearly getting frustrated, and it was coming down to a clash of wills. Gippal wasn't going to just leave her be, and maybe if she would just explain things to him he'd go back and rejoin the others. "It's hard, sometimes. I want to be happy with everyone else, I want to smile and laugh, but I can't forget that I didn't find what I was looking for. I don't think I ever will."

"What're you looking for?" Gippal asked. "Rikku never told me."

"...I. I lost someone, when we fought Sin. He was there beside me, he...he made me laugh, and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be alive today. I miss him."

"Well," Gippal began, sitting up. "That was two years ago, right?"

"Yes."

"And, you just journeyed all over Spira looking for him, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, you're not going to find what you're looking for," Gippal explained, "as long as you keep looking in the past."

"What?" Yuna asked. "I know that, I"

"I don't think you do if you're sitting out here sulking about it."

Yuna looked offended and indignant. "Excuse me?"

"Ah, I know that look. You're wondering who the hell I think I am to say something like that to you, right?" Gippal asked, and Yuna scowled. "Well, let me tell you something I haven't ever told anyone before. I know we're not talking about the same kind of love here, but two years ago, Sin killed my Mom. We Al Bhed were never into the whole Yevon thing, you know that. But, I couldn't believe she was really gone. I spent hours, days even, making up my own 'religion', and convinced myself that she just became a part of Sin. When Sin was defeated for good, Mom would come back. I was so convinced that I was pretty upset that I couldn't go home right before Operation Mi'hen, because I was convinced _that_ was going to work, too. Well, it didn't. You defeated Sin, and my Mom didn't come back. That's when I knew she was gone for good. I was still recovering from Nooj—Shuyin shooting me in the back when I heard the news. I leaped out of that bed like my ass was on fire, and ended up delaying my recovery for two more weeks. That's when I really got it, though. Laying in that bed, thinking about how one of my best friends just took a shot to kill me, putting myself down for tricking myself and not being able to just face the facts—that's not what she would want me to do. If my Mom caught me laying down and not feeling like getting up, she'd pick up a damn frying pan and threaten to hit me with it until I did. I can't bring her back, I can't pretend that I can bring her back, all I can do is look forward and keep living my life the way she would want me to."

All of the animosity had faded from Yuna's features, and it was replaced by sympathy and understanding. "I'm sorry," she began, but Gippal waved his hand.

"Nothing you can do," he insisted, then leaned in closer to her. "Now, do you think that fellow you're sulking up here about would want you to spend your time reflecting on your own misery?"

"No," Yuna answered, clenching her hand and bringing it toward her chest. "He wouldn't. You're right."

Gippal stood up, then scratched the back of his head. "Sorry about that tangent, there."

"No," Yuna shook her head. "Thank you."

"If you need some time to yourself, don't be afraid to take it. Just make sure that you don't spend more time looking back than forward. People have eyes in the front of their heads for a reason, you know."

Yuna smiled at him, then wrapped her hands around her knees. "I don't get much time to myself anymore," she spoke quietly, tilting her head to the left. "I went back to Besaid and found lines of people wanting to see me, and I just feel...selfish."

"There's nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes, Yuna. Most people would prattle on about how you're the high summoner that defeated Sin for five minutes here, but that doesn't matter—you're human just like the rest of us, and that seems to be one of Spira's favorite things to forget." Gippal grumbled. "They can't expect a superwoman, and you can't either."

"I...I guess you're right again," Yuna acknowledged, moving to stand up.

Gippal offered her a hand up, and chuckled at the look of surprise on her face. "What?"

"Nothing," Yuna said, smiling and reaching for his hand. "Thank you again."

"Eh, nothing to worry about. But, if you _really_ want to thank me, I've got something in mind."

"... Oh?" Yuna asked, clasping her hands behind her back. "What might that be?"

"You're going to meet back up with everyone, right?"

"Yeah. I think it's time."

"Well, I'm sure everyone will be stumbling all over themselves for a chance to dance with the great high summoner. Save one for me, will you?" Gippal asked, putting his hand on his hip and smiling at her.

Yuna looked incredulous. "W-what?"

"You heard me," Gippal repeated, winking at her. "Don't have all the fun without me, now."

"Maybe I will," Yuna teased. She didn't even want to know how red her face looked. "What's in it for me, huh?"

"Well, I _am_ the best dancer in all of Spira."

"Really?"

"Of course. Would I lie to you?"

"No," Yuna said thoughtfully, "and you do like to show off."

"What do you expect?" Gippal teased, stretching.

"Gippal, the best dancer in all of Spira"

"You forgot _'breathtakingly handsome'_ in that description," Gippal corrected.

Yuna was feeling giddy despite her earlier mood, Gippal seemed to always have that effect on her. "If we don't get back soon the party will be over!"

"Oh, I see," Gippal grumbled with mock anger. "You don't think I'm breathtakingly handsome?"

"Come on, let's go!"

Yuna learned a lot that day; she remembered that her journey wasn't over, that maybe, just maybe, it was only beginning. She also learned a lot about Gippalone of the more prominent things in her mind at the end of the night was that while Gippal would never lie to her, his ego, on the other hand, would.

She also learned just how much it hurt when he stepped on her feet.


End file.
